Effective Discipline For A Strong Willed Child
Effective Discipline For A Strong Willed Child
If you have a strong willed child, looking for discipline methods can be hard. What will be effective? Where is the balance between discipline and abuse? How can you help a strong willed child modify their natural personality to be able to live more effectively with society?
Set Limits – With Options They Can Control
To discipline a strong willed child, set limits for behavior. They need limits so that they don’t always determine everyone around them’s behavior, but also so they learn to set their own limits in their life. But as you set limits, keep in mind your child’s personality and don’t go head-to-head with them on unimportant issues.
For example, going to school is not something you can negotiate – they need to be there pretty much every day, unless they’re sick. But they can control things like what they wear (“would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red one?”) and when they go (“would you like to leave now and have time for a story in the car before you go in, or leave in five minutes without a story in the car?”). Discipline for a strong willed child means giving your child options – within limits.
Reframe Your Thinking – To See Child In A Better Light
It is tempting – and normal – to think of a strong willed child in negative terms. “He’s so stubborn” and “she won’t cooperate!” are common ways to think of a strong willed child. But that sets us up to think negatively about the child, and to resent them and what they are “doing to us.”
Instead, think about the characteristics that your strong willed child is showing, and see how it can be a positive trait. Is she simply “stubborn”? Or could she be considered “persistent”? Is she a “bawly baby” or “a baby that knows what her needs are and is determined to have them met.” In this sense, she’s the “good baby,” even more than the quiet baby who rarely makes a peep!
Give Plenty Of Love
As you choose discipline for a strong willed child, hopefully you remember to give oodles of love. A wise person once said that it is those who deserve our love the least who need it the most – and this holds true for children. When they are difficult to please and it is hard to meet their needs, it can be tempting to just look forward to the day that they move out! But that would be wishing their childhood away. Instead, relish the day-to-day adventure you’re having. Keep a journal of the fun times and the challenging times, and before you know it, your strong willed child will grow into a more easy to please teen or adult. And your method of discipline for a strong willed child will have it’s result – and you’ll see how effective it was.
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