Common Mistakes While Disciplining a Child
Common Mistakes While Disciplining a Child
Most of us interchangeably use the terms discipline and punishment, however, both are different and serve entirely different purpose. Discipline emphasizes on what child should do, and is an ongoing process. Punishment is a one time occurrence and focuses on what child should not do. Discipline is used to inculcate positive changes in children that lead to self control, shapes good behavior, bolsters self-esteem, and sets an example to follow. Punishment on the other hand condemns child’s behavior, and while insisting on obedience, undermines the independence of child.
Some Common Mistakes While Disciplining a Child
Parenting is challenging, yet a rewarding job. It has been said a million times that parents don’t make mistakes, but the fact is, they do. But, to minimize these mistakes, it is important to plan and think ahead.
Losing the temper is one of the most common mistakes while disciplining a child that parents make. It is understood that sometimes, kids can drive everyone crazy, but never try to discipline a child when angry. Raising the voice or losing control just teaches the children that anger, violence and yelling are acceptable forms of behavior. When angry, take some time-out, and then regroup. Children understand much better when told in a calm tone, and when the approach is precise and direct.
Another mistake while disciplining a child is the physical punishment. Studies have proved that jerking a child, hitting or spanking in any way is quite ineffective, and only teaches the child that physical force is also an option to deal with a conflict. It is important to be a teacher, not the enforcer.
Many parents try to discipline their children in the inconsistent manner that leads to confusion. Inconsistency us quite a common mistake while disciplining a child, and best way to teach whether any behavior is acceptable or not is by being consistent every time.
Try not to bribe the child to behave in a certain manner, as getting a reward prompts the child to act inappropriately first, and then make the changes to get the reward. Children should be taught to act appropriately first time itself.
One very common mistake while disciplining a child that parents make is to play against each other. Parents must realize that they have to be united, and set similar rules in the house. Respect each other’s choice and decision, and if there is a disagreement, talk to each other in private. Discuss the disciplinary role with each other from time to time.
Other mistakes while disciplining a child that parents often make are lecturing them, making comparison, confusing roles and imposing excessive guilt. Don’t blame child for things going wrong in your life, but at the same time, make sure that your word in the disciplinary matter is non-negotiable.
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