Save The Relationship By Being Your Own Marriage Counselor
A marriage has to have love to survive. When the love declines, then it would appear like the marriage has lost its legs to stand on. Perhaps your are experiencing a crucial lack or inadequacy of love in your marriage and you are trying to find ways to get back the love into the relationship. If this is the predicament that you are presently in, then you need to try considering counseling to save the relationship. Or better still, try being your own counselor.
Many of you may be laughing this off as an absurd direction to take however just take a pause and contemplate about it. This may be the best plan of action yet for you and your partner to work out problems in your relationship. You and your spouse are in the best position to examine and determine your situation as you two are the direct parties to it. Only you will be able to find out what caused your relationship to break down and subsequently devise solutions to save the relationship.
Most couples, when faced with a dilemma in their relationship, for the most part let their emotions take control, marring their impartiality. If you and your partner can set aside these adverse emotions, you will be in a better position to sort out your disputes and decide on the most applicable resolution to the problem to save the relationship.
Start by giving each other some space prior to talking about the issues, specially when the wounds are still fresh. Once you have individually sorted out your emotions and are prepared to be unemotional about it, sit down and talk about it. Remember the past to establish what were the reasons for the dispute. Keep in mind, at the start of your relationship, you both were full of love and devotion. You were brimming with love for each other. You were both filled with eager expectation of what the future holds for you two. However at some point, all that was lost. Pondering on the past will allow you to determine what caused this.
Was it the day to day pressures of living that caused you to forget the ardor? Have you committed sins of omission? Have you been giving sufficiently to the relationship or have you been constantly at the receiving end thus, making your partner feel that he or she has been at the losing end? Bear in mind it takes two to tango. Have you two been so smug because you have been together for so long, that you have forgotten the thing that brought you two together in the first place – the everlasting love that you professed for each other.
Ask yourself these questions and other questions that may be able to bring out the reasons of your quarrel. It is only you and your partner who be able to recognise the answers to these. Getting to the source of the problem is vital and once you are able to acknowledge the cause, then you have taken the first big step to being your own counselor and be on your way to save the relationship.
Oftentimes it is the small irritants cumulated over time that are the reasons for the major quarrel between couples. Probably you both were not sensitive enough to catch these while they were still easier to rein in. In discerning the cause of the problem, you are able to tackle these and finally resolve them.
Try being your own counselor. After all, you and your partner are the main characters in the relationship and are at the best position to outline the problem and define a lasting solution to it. Make the effort. As your own counselor, you can look at the problem at all angles. Solutions are more lasting when these are put together by the involved parties – you and your partner.
Finally, when you have come to an agreement, be amenable to make changes if needed. It is only if you are willing to do your share to save the relationship will you be able to get back the love that you lost.
Zeny Zabala is a relationship resource person who loves to write articles about marriage and relationships for individuals looking for help and inspiration in their relationships. She also provides reading recommendations on her web site with reviews on the best available reading resources on the internet today. Visit her website now.
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