Is There A Way To Save My marriage?
Love is wonderful, and our commitment to love is expressed through marriage. We celebrate and profess vows. We make promises to one another to stay by each others side in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. These beautiful vows are made with perfect intentions. No matter what comes our way, we will be together ’til death do us part’. Reality may not be what we hoped for; you may end up asking ‘what can I do to save my marriage’?
Having a great marriage is not taught in school, so you may not yet be equipped with the skills you need to have the marriage you want. But even in bad situations, such as adultery, it is possible to turn the situation around and save your marriage. Remain hopeful because you are not alone. At this point you need to understand clearly what you should do, and also what you should not do in the reconciliation process. You have a desire to save, even transform, your marriage which is what led you to this article in the first place.
First, here are the phases the relationship lifecycle. There are six stages:
1. Romance and infatuation
2. After the honeymoon
3. Staking your territories
4. Evaluation
5. Reconnection
6. Commitment
You are most likely in the fourth stage and trying to figure out why you decided to marry this other person in the first place. You might be thinking that your life would happier with someone else. Coming to the realization that your dream of a happy marriage is not coming true is very difficult. The love and romance you enjoyed has vanished and the honeymoon stage is a memory. This is absolutely normal, but emotionally challenging. Feelings of closeness, especially sexual intimacy, can decline or disappear completely. At this point, it is common to consider having an affair. If you have this temptation, do not give in. Honor the vows you took and acquire the skills and techniques to reconnect with your partner. This stage is painful and trying. Of course, it also has the greatest reward. To achieve this reward, equip yourself the skills needed to avoid ending up as a marriage statistic.
Typical difficulties are: what if my spouse does not want to save the marriage, can I get past the hurt, what can we do build trust in each other again. Caution is recommended here. If you are the one who needs forgiveness, begging for forgiveness or promising to change may get a response opposite to what you want. Picture yourself in their shoes. What if you are the one who needs to forgive? Can you forgive them? Under what conditions? These are not easy questions and you need to clarify your feelings and have a plan to work through this stage. Seeking a quick fix at this point instead of addressing core issues is the biggest mistake most couples make. Most marriage problems develop over time and it takes time to solve them. By equipping yourself properly, you will make it to the reconnection stage, and you will not be wondering ‘is there any way to save my marriage’.
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