For Parents Of Twins: Full-Time Mothers and Battling Guilt
Parenthood and guilt tend to go hand in hand. It’s perfectly natural for a parent to want to give very best for their children – and every parent usually concludes that they should have done better. This potential problem plagues all parents – but for stay-at-home mothers of twins, the guilt can be exponential.
More likely than not, full-time mothers of twins find themselves as full-time housewives after enjoying the comparative autonomy of being a working wife. Immediately the guilt is worsened – unless she can afford household help, she not only must hide her resentment at being trapped at home with children she’s “supposed” to love, she also feels badly about not contributing to what is very likely a badly needed second income.
Then there’s the issue of “quality time” – if she’s home alone with the twins, the mother is just too busy caring for them to establish any meaningful interaction. Will they maladjust as they grow up because she could not make time to play with them? And we haven’t even mentioned the guilt she may be feeling about not being able to get to the housekeeping.
The basis of all this guilt? The totally nonsensical thought that it shouldn’t be difficult to handle twice as many babies as most full-time mothers have to. As a result, they live in fear of being condemned as absolute failures as parents if they ask for even the most minimal amount of relief.
The right responses to all this absurd guilt?
1. Be prepared. If you find you’re expecting twins, what you need most is a support network. Find out which of your neighbors, friends and family could assistance with errands, laundry, emergency babysitting, feedings, or just watching your twins so you take a valuable nap.
2. But don’t confine yourself to your immediate circle for help. Seek advice from local social organizations, and the Internet provides a galaxy of resources for parents of twins (including ways to save money).
3. Refuse to play the role of super woman. You’re quite human, and like it or not, nurturing twins should be considered very much a superhuman task.
Fortunately, there is someone who can provide step-by-step direction for parents of twins, having gone through it herself, then had a third baby less than a year later!
She Is is Suzannah Peel, and she’s written Twins! The Survival Guide – a treasure trove of strategies, tips, and tricks for everything from managing mealtimes to air travel with twin babies. You can order it at http://www.rocktivity.com/for-parents-of-twins. And for parents of twins, it makes the next best gift to emergency babysitting.
Processing your request, Please wait....
