Being Right Vs Getting Results
I’m constantly amazed that people let their emotions run away with them, develop dislike for people they have never met and needlessly insult each other on internet discussion groups. Some are blatantly obvious about it, others do it subtly. Some find offence where I find none and others are not offended by comments I thought were offensive. Insulting one another is considered, by some, to be an art form and there are places specifically dedicated to providing a venue where people can practice insulting one another. I think personal criticisms are best kept in those type of venues.
How about the NLP presuppositions: The value of any behavior is dependent upon the context and environment that it is occurring in. The individual is always valuable; sometimes the individual’s behavior is inappropriate for the context.
Criticize ideas, behaviors and methods rather than the person’s personal attributes. Haven’t we had enough of people providing us with “Identity Labels”? Labels are often adopted by people and serve as selection criteria for how they are capable of behaving. Tell someone they are an asshole and they may prove you right every time you interact with them.
Some people are more interested in being right than in getting the right results. My web site is a prime example. I used to build my site with a format that I and the “experts” on web site design thought was professional and the “right” way to do it. We sat back and admired our work and site visitors commented on how professional it was. The site was designed to look professional and it did, however it did not produce the results it needed to. It needed to produce qualified leads and seminar registrations. I let go of my need to be right in stages, until eventually I focused only on getting the right results. I measured what works and ended up dumping most of the fancy “professional” stuff in favor of what produces qualified leads and seminar registrations.
People sometimes identify with their ideas and take criticism of them as a personal attack. They respond with a personal attack on the critic, rather than debate about the ideas. Another pattern I’ve observed is people defending their actions as being “right”, after their actions did not produce the results they wanted. Blaming something or someone else removes their response ability and therefore being right gets in the way of getting the right results.
Some people need to get over their limiting labels and some people need to get over their need to be right.
Steve Boyley, JAFS. NLPT. MCHt.
NLP training courses renowned worldwide.
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