The Myth Demystified about Confidence
What is confidence…for you can’t see it? Confidence is definitely one of those things that has been around the longest in being the magical secret to attracting women.
Now I am going to say something a little out there, confidence by itself is just not sufficient.
“Acting confident” (“faking it til you make it” as we like to put it) is different than “truly being confident”.
“Faking it til you make it” is a great starting point and will help give you the courage and self-beliefs to take action and persevere, but true confidence comes from a place of unconscious competent, without even being awared of it.
Once that level of unconscious competent is obtained, confidence will naturally be there because you have the skill set and know you will be capable to do it well every time, contrasted to acting confident at what you are doing for a day doesn’t signify you will be confident tomorrow because you don’t have that “competence to sustain it up every time”.
Just like how you have been riding a bike all your life…
When you get on it, you are already confident because you know you can ride it again as usual; however that wasn’t the case the first time you got on the it. You were nervous because you didn’t know how to ride a bike and could had hurt yourself, regardless if you faked your confidence, you would still have no clue of how to get on a bike.
Or basically for anything you do, like taking a standardized test, fixing a car, playing a new sport…do you believe just having confidence is enough to make you perform each one of them well?
NO.
As a matter of fact it is reverse, knowing “what-to-do” and “how-to-do-it” to have that understanding is going to develop that competence and give you that confidence as a by-product.
When applying for a job, will somebody give you the job just because you are acting confident without ever having the proper training to skillfully work for them?
Of course not, because they may fire you the next day after working with a lack of skill and have wasted their time and resources. The factor they are more interested in is specialized skill, knowledge, experience, expertise…your competence.
Same situation for when you are out in social environment and are unknowledgeable of what to do when talking to a woman or interacting with people; you may fake your confidence and be confident, but that doesn’t mean you will do well.
Confidence doesn’t make you better, competence will, and confidence will result from that.
Here is my quote, I like for you to remember:
“Competence comes from experience. Confidence comes from competence.”
– Gabriel Angelo
Gabriel Angelo runs http://www.socialnatural.com, with the unique approach to dating and meeting women, by focusing on developing your “social skills” to be the most socially savvy person you can be, not just with women…but everybody. Although the arts are primarily related to dating and attracting women, they can be applied to other aspects of your life from social, dating, personal, and even professional.
For more information, please visit http://www.socialnatural.com.
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