Figuring Out What The Symptons Of Minimal Self Value Signify
Are the signs of low self esteem manifesting themselves in somebody you know? It could be someone in your family, or maybe a friend or co-worker, but if someone you love suffers from low self esteem, you need to know how to determine the signs.
First it is important to understand that we all have doubts about our abilities or capabilities at times. This is common during times of stress, where people under duress have a difficult time dealing with the everyday challenges in his/her life. If your self esteem is high, then your first instinct normally would be to get back to the drawing board and formulate a plan to make things manageable. A person with low self esteem, on the other hand, will blame themselves and see the problem as their own failure. And you might even end up blaming others when they shouldn’t be.
People who see themselves in a very low light would usually sell themselves (if they try to) in the most negative manner possible. Often, this means presenting themselves as a victim. They would play the blame game, blaming and framing up others for the miserable situation they’re in. Everything negative that would happen to them would be somebody else’s fault. It has to be somebody’s fault.
Oftentimes they don’t realize that they’re dodging accountability for their lives. Very few things in their life are positive, and if there is, there must be a catch somewhere. They believe that their state of negativity is pre-determined and cannot be changed. While they want to genuinely feel good about things, the only way they know how is to blame other people.
If you know somebody who acts this way, it is sometimes possible to help them by pointing out things that they could do to improve whatever it is that they are complaining about. Don’t be surprised, though, if they decline, politely or not. They will keep thinking of reasons why your suggestions will not work. If this happens, it may be better to tell them about their areas of strength. If they can actually believe you, they may start to feel good enough about themselves to stop complaining once in a while.
Another one of the signs of low self esteem is a person who allows themselves to be used by others. This could be seen when the person tries too hard to please others, and would go out of their way to do things for them, no matter how unrealistic they may be. Unfortunately, people do not usually value those who are so eager to please. It’s like the kid you knew in school who threw a big party and gave away all his goodies to his classmates. It may have sounded good at first, until you realized that he was trying to buy friends instead of make them – great way to set yourself up for years of abuse, instead of years of friendship!
Other signs of low self esteem include addictions, dissatisfaction with life, and constant changing of jobs or partners. Instead of sacrificing, they would rather take the shortcut, the quick-fix solution, the easiest way out. In the working world, this is epitomized by people who get discouraged so easily at work that they look for excuses to quit and get another job. Rather than working on a relationship they will keep looking for the perfect partner with whom, they think, no effort will be required.
Fortunately, there are many ways to improve a low self esteem. We can change if we want to. It starts with noticing the problem, acknowledging it, and doing what we could to sort things out. Whenever you notice the signs of self esteem in your daily life, it’s time to do something about them.
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