Why Me God? Why These In-Laws?
I do not have too much of a problem with my in-laws, but after coming across this one site, they make my family appear to be saints. So I decided to ask around and sit down and talk to several families about in-laws. Well let’s just say there is some serious hate going on. Right now I would like to take the time to give some pointers on how to deal with in-laws and these pointers have all come from families dealing with in-law issues.
1. Ignore. This is a common practice and easy to do if you are not around them constantly. But ignoring does have its drawbacks because if you never say anything they will never know and no change will ever occur. And normally when people ignore things the anger just builds up till they explode and everyone thinks you are crazy because the whole time you never said anything.
2. Patience. Being patient is a good thing because sometimes it is not that your in-laws are always trying to annoy you or push your buttons but it is just their personality, something they can not necessarily change. It is just like any person you meet some people you click with some you don’t. Take the time and be patient and these situations can work them self out.
3. Talk. I would sit down and talk to your spouse about his or her family and what they are doing to you and how it makes you feel. I would put it on their shoulders to go to their own family and talk to them. The reason I do not suggest you going to them yourself is because obviously there are problems and you going to them they could take what you say all wrong. Your spouse knows them and how to talk to them. Now you do have your instances where your spouse will not do anything about it, then I would go the next person you are closest to in that family and talk to them.
4. Effort. Put some effort into getting along with the family and try to get to know them as individuals. I have found some people in groups are very obnoxious but when you are one on one with them they are totally different. The thing to remember is they know you as well as you know them so all the doubts and misunderstandings you are having they probably have to. So it will take one of you to be the bigger person to reach out and get to know one another on a more personal level.
5. Accepting. In some scenarios just accepting that your relationship with your in-laws will never be great or what you might have hoped. Accept that this is all you will ever get out of them and you can not change anybody. Some people have hate in them no matter what you do. If you have put forth effort, patience, and tried reaching out to them that is all you can do.
It is really sad to see families go through situations where hate is involved. It really tears people apart. These are just a few things you could try and this is all from people that have gone through or are going through in-law issues. The best advice I could give anyone is don’t hate back you will waste to much time and energy.
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