Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One
When we lose someone close to our heart we let go of a part of ourselves. In order to deal with heartache and loss we close ourselves off. By protecting ourselves at a time of deep grief and sadness we seek solace by not being present. How can one process something so big, so hurtful? How can life even go on when this has happened? By closing your heart and shutting your eyes you are only trying to keep on, what more can you do? It is hard to manage so much, let alone keep on with life. To open your heart means to receive all the hurt, all the emotion and pain. Of course it may seem as if it can’t be felt all at once. But the truth is it can. You can find the strength to be with what has happened.
You can be present with your loss. Because if you can’t, if you keep delaying your emotions you will never be able to come to terms with letting go. Now I know this is hard, the first response being, coping and protecting your heart, shielding the truth and letting the reality seep in little by little. In truth though, this will only keep the grief and sadness with you, pulling it along with your heart in the need to protect it. It is like laying a blanket of sadness over who you are instead of looking at it and seeing it for what it is. Do you wish to be covered or free? Do you want to see the full truth or drag it out little by little all the while feeling the pain? You have the strength, you really do, to see it for what it is- a loss so great, so important as to leave you feeling this way.
This kind of grief doesn’t come often, perhaps only a few times in life. It will not last forever; you can help yourself let it go. Be honest and present with your heart. Allow your heart to feel, for it can hold so much more than you think. It has the capacity to keep on going and still continue to love life. Allow yourself the freedom to fully feel so you can heal. Allow yourself to be present with your heart and the loss, you will come through it. Give yourself the space and time. Tell yourself you are strong and capable of being with it. It will pass; the pain of loss will go if you let it. By feeling it, by seeing it, you are processing it. You can be the one who helps yourself heal and go on. You can do this, you can be you again, part of life and open.
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