Aging – Caught in the Middle
They call us “the sandwich generation.” We’re the filling between a slice of the younger generation (our kids) and a slice of the
older generation (our parents). There are times when we feel like we have been chopped and diced and mixed up like a tuna salad.
It seems that everybody needs something from us – and all at the same time.
Our kids, of course, need our care. They need our attention and our encouragement. They need our presence at the important events
in their lives – and we want to give them everything that they need. We WANT to be present. On the other hand, our parents loved
us and cared for us when we couldn’t. We owe them big time, and we WANT to help them when they need help.
The question becomes, “Who comes first?” Which generation are you most obligated to care for? It’s not an easy choice. And it
might be a choice that you don’t have to actually make.
The first thing to do is to get your parents as much help from other sources as possible. You can arrange to have their bills
paid automatically. You can inspect their home for safety hazards and correct them to help prevent accidents. You can ask the
members of their church or civic organization to check on them and let you know if there’s a problem. You can ask other family
members to take part of the responsibility, but you need to take the time to explain and demonstrate how tasks must be done.
Once you have lightened your minute-to-minute responsibility for your aging parents, you can then devote more time and energy to
your kids.
It isn’t a perfect solution, but it is a solution that can at least help.
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