Is Three a Crowd?
Imagine the situation: after a long day you and your other half are settled down for the night. Just as you feel your eyelids droop, you hear the footsteps of little feet and the tugging of a little creature clawing at the sheets. Nope, it isn’t that horrible beast from the back of the closet, it’s your small child clambering all over your helpless body, wanting to stake their claim at the centre of your bed.
It may very well be one of the more innate things in the whole world however, the thought of co-sleeping has sparked argument for some time amongst experts and also divides the world of parents. Whereas some will swoon at the idea of keeping close to their little ones overnight the exact same situation leaves others shaking with fear
With a great deal of controversy relating to the topic I am keen to find out whether co-sleeping brings families together or signals disaster for relationships.
In the West we largely view co-sleeping as something to frown upon but we haven’t always had this point of view. Before the 19th Century, children sleeping in a bed with their parents was entirely normal. Changes in bedtime arrangements for us only came about in the Victorian time with the creation of the crib and bigger properties however certain parents this side of the world still like to co-sleep.
Sharing their bed with their kids gives many parents a feeling of oneness and I reckon even those without any kids can understand the joy of closeness between family members. If I’m honest, I can’t think of many other instances that further embody the idea of ‘family’ than each family member all together in one space, protected by parents and altogether at ease.
Everyone knows that youngsters get to sleep easier around their mums and dads however where the controversy lies is experts’ concerns that co-sleeping prevents young children from being independent and generating their self-esteem. Their issue is that children who co-sleep are going to grow up being mollycoddled and less independent when likened to children that will have slept separately from a young age.
Equally as pressing is the fact that young children may not be the only ones altered by co-sleeping; sharing a bed with their youngsters will potentially take it’s toll on parents’ romances. It is not essential to be a parent to be able to acknowledge the value of some quiet time after they have been sent to bed; irrespective of whether it’s a single hour or an entire evening, it is the perfect chance for parents to spend time on their relationship.
Quality time with one another is vital to all relationships. Getting close to and being passionate with a spouse is a healthy statement of emotional unity however if a child is sharing your bed, this is often at risk. Add to that the logistics of getting three or four people in a bed made for just only 2 and it doesn’t demand a genius to figure out that somebody will almost certainly be subjected to lots of disturbed sleep. It is legendary that tiredness results in grumpiness and similar to a ticking time bomb, it won’t be long before exhausted parents start to argue and row due to frustration and exhaustion. Frequently parents will differ on the idea of co-sleeping which could bring about added friction between them.
Children are designed to would prefer to remain near to their parents; indeed when we get older we continue to are comforted by our parents. It’s natural that a parental duty is to protect and a child’s to be protected however, when it gets to the moment where a relationship is at stake then surely that could be way more distressing for a child than sleeping in their own bedroom?
If a child can mature when it comes to self-esteem and independence while co-sleeping and partners are able to keep enough of a connection in their own relationship then I can’t see a problem. Coming to a happy medium between children’s call for for comfort and their mental growth together with parents’ need for a level of privacy and relaxation time is really the most crucial element.
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