Ways To Approach Infidelity in Marriages
Ways To Begin Infidelity in Marriage
Matrimony and infidelity are two words that should never go in a row. But, unfortunately, they do. The affliction and suffering of an affair can wreck a marriage because there is no greater shock than learning that your partner has been unfaithful. This knowledge instantly destroys trust which is so vital in a relationship. Some companions cannot get over the betrayal and file for break up, while others are all ready to give the guilty party a second chance.
The decision to save a relationship depends on both parties. If a settlement attempt is to be made, both will have to commit to a long, hard road ahead. The good news, however, is that it can be done.
Most affairs are the result of an emotional void. Couples often drift away because of certain circumstances. This opens the door for a third person to fulfill the ‘neglected’ mate’s needs. Basically, the unfaithful one is simply seeking attention.
The first step to reconciliation is an acceptance from both parties that the affair happened. Ignoring it and trying to move on will not work. Hate will build up and eventually the inevitable will happen. If your husband or wife has cheated on you, bear in mind that he or she is also suffering. Guilt can result in deep adversity and it is important that you acknowledge this.
The next step is for the cheating partner to cut ties at once with the third party. This can be exclusively difficult if the person is a working colleague, a friend or, worse still, a relative. In such cases, it may be necessary to find another job or even move to another town or city. There is no way that conciliation can work if the third party is accessible.
When contact has been severed, the one who cheated is likely to suffer withdrawal, particularly if the affair has been going on for a long time. This can be compared to a drug addict or alcoholic who has definite to go sober. It is necessary to mourn this part of his or her life. This phase will be the hardest for the faithful husband or wife because it may take weeks or months. At times, the guilty party will feel sad, angry, and disappointed.
If you are the victim, you may think that your cheating partner is not showing as much remorse as he or she must. If so, you both need to have a long, serious talk. This is an opportunity for both parties to get everything out in the open. Ask as many questions as you like and be honest and open. The talk must not end until you have both got the whole off your chests. Afterwards, the affair must never be brought up again. When this talk has concluded and the withdrawal period has ended, only then can healing begin.
Matrimony and affair can be resolved with compassion, patience, and understanding from both sides. Even if you are the one who has been cheated on, remember that it takes two to make or break a matrimony. Seek help from a counselor so that you can be guided through the process and shown how to start loving one another all over again.
Robert Godric is an expert marriage and relationship councilor.
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