Infidelity In Marriages And Relationships
Infidelity, or ‘cheating’, Is an opening of expectation among two people in a committed relation. This can take many forms; it can be of a sexual or physical nature, or it can be emotional – for example, if a companion shares a deep secret with someone else. Figures on infidelity show that roughly fifty-four percent of women have cheated at several point during their relations. About fifty-seven percent of men have committed the exact act.
Unfortunately, it is complicated to acquire exact statistics on the subject of unfaithfulness. One of the main problems is that admitting it can be very complicated, and a lot people will be dishonest if asked the question “Have you ever cheated before?” Online anonymous polls tend to be more accurate than face-to-face surveys. Even so, another problem is that several people interpret sex as having intercourse, while others do not.
While the data can be skewed for a lot reasons, it IS clear that people are cheating more frequently than they used to. A study of nearly twenty thousand applicants found that, over the past fifteen years, infidelity rates have been climbing drastically for the age groups of 60 and over, and 35 and younger.
People cheat for a lot reasons. Annette Lawson, an author in the United Kingdom, speculates in her book – Adultery: An Analysis of Love and Betrayal – that men cheat because they demand to be defenseless and dependent, and that women cheat because they want to be strong and free. This is the contrasted of what is awaited for ‘gender roles’, but the answer is logical; even the greater stoic of men want a shoulder to lean on.
From an evolutionary perspective, monogamy – the exclusive pairing of one male to one female – is unnatural. Few mammals have male/female pairs that mate for life, and less than twenty percent of the world’s cultures even practice monogamy. Within the few cultures that DO enforce monogamy, more than half of the people in alone relations practice unfaithfulness.
It is a biological compulsion for men to spread their genes to as many offspring as possible. As a result, they tend to try and have sex with as many women as possible. Women, on the other hand, are pregnant with children for nine months before giving birth. During that time, and for the first few years of their child’s life, they are again and again unable to provide entirely for themselves. Due to of this, women must be choosier than men about their sexual companions: they will again and again seek to marry men who are smart, fit, and dependable enough to contribute for their future wives and offspring.
For some time, civilization accommodated for the needs of both genders. Through polygamy, a wealthy man was able to acquire a few wives with whom he could mate. In conversion, he took care of his wives and their children. This man was the head of his household, and was traditionally known as the “patriarch.” Within the last millennium, however, polygamy was forbidden by all major world religions, and the practice is continued only in certain parts of Sub-Saharan Africa and Central Asia. In its place we have a culture that expects total monogamy, which is hypocritical because almost everyone cheats.
With the rise of the internet, it has become easier than ever before to cheat on one’s partner. Erotic text messages, emails, and instant messages allow people to have sexual relationships without even being physically present. As a result of of this, it is the responsibility of every man and woman to address with their partners about Unfaithfulness. It should be understood that cheating is a natural part of life, and that it is possible to have a loving relationship without being sexually exclusive. The key to ANY stable relation, more than anything, is a mutual sense of trust.
Robert Godric is an expert marriage and relationship councilor.
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