The Royal launches $25-million fundraising campaign for mental health
Ian Fisher’s story is equal parts tragedy and hope.
It begins on a farm in New Brunswick, where he grew up idolizing his older brother, Alan.
They shared a room and were best friends until Nov. 18, 1976 — 35 years ago next month — when Alan, just 20 years old, killed himself. Fisher was 17.
In those days, no one talked about mental illness and most families couldn’t bear the shame of one of theirs taking his life. The family knew the truth,burberry outlet but others were told Alan died in a hunting accident.
“We accepted condolences from friends and family about such a terrible tragedy, but the word ‘suicide’ was never uttered,” Fisher said.
His father referred to it as “the accident” until the end of his own life six weeks ago. “After all these years, that’s how he protected himself,” Fisher said.
When his only child, a son named Sam who is tall and likes to downhill ski, began changing — his “up times” becoming more and more overshadowed by his “down times” — Fisher and his wife became concerned. “Some days it was like we had a stranger living in our house,” he said.
But Sam shrugged off his parents. Privately he began skipping classes and using drugs and alcohol. He was sinking into depression.
“To us, he had his whole life ahead of him and we were excited,” Fisher said, his voice becoming thin. “To him, in his depression, the thought of his whole life ahead of him was terrifying and he felt he couldn’t survive.”
On Jan. 20, 2011, a Thursday, Sam came home from school and tried to take his own life. He then made a desperate call to his mother and told her what he had done. She hurriedly called Fisher, who has a civilian position with the Ottawa police, and sped to the family’s home in Orléans, as if propelled by the pain of losing a brother and the fear of losing a son.
They got Sam to the hospital where he was treated and later, diagnosed with major depression. Sam’s been in counselling, is on medication and now goes to a new high school, where he’s making new friends.
And where once there was silence in the Fisher family about mental illness, today there is conversation.
“Our story is one of tragedy and hope,” Fisher said. “The tragedy of a brother lost to suicide 35 years ago under a cloud of secrecy, the hope of a son who is working through his mental illness one day at a time.”
Sam, now 15, wears a white collared shirt rolled at the sleeves and dark pants that bunch at the feet, which are clad in burgundy sneakers. He’s got braces on his bottom teeth.
And he’s about to tell a ballroom full of strangers the most personal story ever, a story he hasn’t even shared with many friends; a story about how he began, about eight years ago, to feel great sadness and hopelessness and eventually saw no way out.
However painful it may be to tell, his eagerness to reach out in hopes of helping other teens emboldens him, his voice clear and resilient.
“I believe we can make things better for other kids like me and people like the uncle I never met,” Sam said.
Afterward, Fisher said he felt relief that his own secret is out and deep pride in Sam’s courage. “If my son’s voice can be heard by one child and they have that one brief conversation to say, ‘Dad, I need help,’ it’s all been worth it 10-times over.”
The Fishers told their story Tuesday morning to about 600 people at the Leaders for Mental Health Breakfast, the kickoff event for the Royal Ottawa Mental Health Centre’s latest fundraising drive. The goal is to raise $25 million for research and treatment.
The hospital’s new “Campaign for Mental Health” is the largest and most ambition philanthropic drive ever for the hospital, which in the past created the high-profile “You Know Who I Am” campaign featuring Ottawa Senators captain Daniel Alfredsson.
His sister has generalized anxiety disorder and he said he’s seen first-hand how mental illness can affect a person and their family.
Alfredsson said the suicide deaths this past year of Senators’ assistant coach Luke Richardson’s 14-year-old daughter, Daron, as well as NHL players Wade Belak and Rick Rypien are “just another tragic reminder of why we need to remove the stigma that prevent so many people from seeking help for their mental illness.”
We have come a long way, he said, but there is still much to be done.
“I think we all look forward to a time when a young person will reach out for help without fear or shame, we look forward to a time when people can get the right help they need when they need it.”
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