How to Find a Sperm Donor
How do you find a sperm donor? Well, it’s more complicate than just getting down to the local sperm bank and filling out some paperwork. Most of the donations that are given to the sperm bank come from sources who wish to remain anonymous. This is due to various reasons. Some men who are sperm donors are married. Others are simply embarrassed to have it be known that they are sperm donors since the collection process involves them doing something that is seen as filthy, or again just plain embarrassing, by many people. Still others want to avoid any potential legal hassle such as custody battles. There are men who worry that their family or friends might find their donation “immoral”, since some people have hostile views of sperm banks for religious or moral reasons that seem sound to them. And, there are men who are concerned that if knowledge of their donation is publicized it could harm their professional career. To make it more attractive for men to put their name on their donation, many sperm banks offer much more money for full ID donations, but even so most donations still remain anonymous.
So, if you’re looking for a particular type of sperm donor, you probably will need to deal with an anonymous donor. That doesn’t mean that you can’t find a donor whose traits (and thus presumably his genetics) are to your liking. You start by gathering as much information as is available to you about a potential donor. You can gather up his physical, racial, and ethnic description. You can find out how much education he had. You can learn his age at the time he donated, and when he donated. Who was the doctor that was mainly involve? Were there any genetic counselors involved, and if so who are they? Did he donate at a clinic or directly at the sperm bank? Any relevant information that you can gather is better for you.
You might not be seeking a sperm donor to get pregnant. You might actually know that you are the child of a sperm donor and wonder who your father is and what he is like. If so, once you reach the age of 18 you have a legal right to try to find your anonymous father. You must be respectful about this, however, not demanding. Do not act insulted that your father was anonymous. Ask the clinic that did the donation (your mother can tell you which one it was) if they are willing and if their policy allows them to try to contact the sperm donor for you. And if they are, remember that this was an anonymous donation and part of that means that the sperm donor is under no obligation at all to have any contact with you. But you might be fortunate you might find that your anonymous father really wants to get to know you.
If you don’t already know the reasons why, you should ask your mother, respectfully, why she opted to become artificially inseminated and why it was by an anonymous man. You want to be emotionally prepared for this contact if it’s going to happen.
Likewise, you might be a woman who become artificially inseminated by an anonymous man and now you are still burning with a desire to know exactly who he was. You could take whatever information that you do have about him and try to do some detective work to see if someone fits his description and location. Or you could do the same as a child seeking to find his father and go through the sperm bank. But to reiterate, a sperm donor doesn’t have any legal or moral obligation to have contact with you, and if you try contacting various men on your own you might also have negative legal repercussions to deal with.
Whoever you are what whatever your reasons for trying to find a sperm donor, don’t make the decision alone. This is an emotionally sensitive issue and you want support.
About The Author: Robert O. Dewald has written this article.
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