3 Important Tips To Help Save Your Marriage
Has your spouse acted in a way, or done something, that has left you extremely upset and has resulted in a marriage in crisis? It can be hard to overcome issues that blindside you and hurt you to the very core. Many people just like you are wondering whether or not their marriage can be saved or whether it’s just not worth it.
The thing many people don’t understand is that before you think about getting your spouse fixed, you have to start with getting yourself fixed or bandaged up. You have every reason to be hurt and pissed off but you are going to have to come to terms with your own feelings before you can save your marriage.
Your reactions towards the situation are going to ultimately make or break the chances of you being able to save your marriage. Here are 3 tips on what NOT to do if you want to save your marriage from crisis.
Save Your Marriage Tip 1
Avoid the victim role. Even though you are a victim in this situation, playing the victim role will not help you save your marriage. When you start to constantly play the self-pity role with your spouse, you will only make the situation worse. You will start to drive them further and further away from you, and you may ultimately drive them away completely from a lack of respect or desire. Victims are not attractive or appealing, and it’s not recommended to play one in life – ever.
Instead of playing the victim, be the survivor. Show your strength and your independence. Let your spouse know that they don’t get to control you life and that they don’t decide how you handle yourself. Your life is your life, not theirs! They can’t make you miserable and ruin the rest of your life because of their actions. But they can be a part of your life if they change their actions.
Save Your Marriage Tip 2
Let go of the anger. Anger is just as quick to come as a victim mentality is, but if you want your relationship to survive this tough time and repair itself you are going to have to let it go and find it in your heart to forgive. When you hold on to the anger, you use blame and guilt and hold things over their heads until they can’t take it anymore.
If you can’t forgive them then you can’t move on into a healthy relationship. It’s just that simple. It doesn’t mean you have to forget, but you do have to forgive. If you choose to stay angry then you will surely not be able to save your marriage, and you will find that separation will just be short distance away.
Save Your Marriage Tip 3
Don’t label your spouse harshly. If you have been hurt in a relationship it can be all too easy to label your spouse as a lower class citizen compared to you. You may judge them and make comments about their character to their face and behind their back. This will not help you save your marriage!
You have to remember that a mistake that your partner made does not define who they are. In fact, many people who would never do such things as cheat on their spouse get caught up in a moment and do the unthinkable. This doesn’t make it right, but it doesn’t make them a serial cheater either. It makes them someone who screwed up badly and may have cost their relationship over it. That’s it. So don’t label your partner as a cheater, liar, or any other negative title for the rest of their lives because that marriage is not going to be a happy one!
The first answer to how to save your marriage will always be to start with yourself first. Then you can focus on the marriage.
Bellaisa if the owner of the Relationship Circe, a website with relationship advice for women and men on dating, intimacy, and relationship problems.
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