Stop Your Divorce – Relationship Advice
If you have found yourself in a marriage crisis of some sort then you may be considering divorce, or your spouse may be considering it. Either way it’s a viable solution to the problems you have been having that don’t seem to be getting any better and you may be in the process of getting ready to just do it. But if you want to stop your divorce then you will have to put in some work and start making changes, both in you and in your relationship.
The key thing to remember when trying to stop your divorce is to take action. You can’t expect everything to just work itself out by giving each other space or taking some time to reflect. While this may take you away from the emotional aspect of it and give you a clearer picture of what you want, it will not allow you to make up with your spouse and continue on with no issues. You have to take action to fix the issues once you know what they are, and you have to be consistent with that action if you want to save your marriage.
Some Stop Your Divorce Tips
So now that you are aware that it’s not going to be easy and that you are going to have to put some consistent effort into stopping your divorce, you are ready to start implementing some new ways of behaving that will help you stop your divorce and turn things around in your marriage.
First you have to find a way to not complain about or criticize your spouse anymore. All you are doing by acting that way is pushing your spouse further away from you and giving them extra incentive to get a divorce. So by stopping the behavior you are taking away that extra incentive.
How can you stop criticizing or complaining about your spouse? Catch yourself when you are about to say something negative to your spouse and put a stop to it. Instead try being agreeable with your spouse or at least taking a positive stance on it.
For instance, if your spouse complains that the relationship is on its last leg you can agree with that statement instead of telling your spouse why they are the cause of it being on its last leg. Soon it will become a part of your behavior to avoid criticizing your spouse.
Second don’t make your spouse feel like they have to change in order for you to be happy. This is something that is hard not to do because we all look at our problems from our point of view, and usually we only see what mistakes our spouse is making – and we are really good at pointing out those mistakes! If you want to stop your divorce then you are going to have to stop pointing out their faults and stop pressuring them to be someone different. You are going to have to become more accepting of them.
When you do point out their faults and pressure them to change you are forcing them to put up their defences. Isn’t that what you do when someone tells you that you are not doing things right or that you suck at how you do things? Of course it is! Your spouse is just trying to stop the attacks on them as a person and once you stop attacking them they will let their guard down.
Lastly, keep the relationship on a somewhat happy ground. If you are always both in the gutter with each other than how can you expect your partner to want to stop your divorce? There’s nothing to look forward to when all you do is fight, complain, and feel bad. You need to keep the relationship in a place where saving the marriage is still an option.
Try to keep the marriage on a more positive note by going with the flow a little more. When you are constantly trying to fix a situation in the relationship then it can be hard to feel good about it at all, but when you let things happen and go with the flow there is not a need to always have to fix the relationship and that can cause less tension and more leeway for being able to make things better.
These are just three things you can do to start working on your marriage and stop your divorce. You can see that the common theme here is to create a new way of relating in your marriage and creating new habits of your own when it comes to the relationship. The fact that your relationship hasn’t been working for you is a sign that things need to change, and once you start to make those changes you should start to see results.
Bellaisa’s website, the Relationship Circle, has relationship advice for men and women.
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