as a means of consoling his disconsolate wife
" This so excited the swine driver’s pity, that I verily thought he was about to make the major a present of his whole herd, as a means of consoling his disconsolate wife. As soon, however, as the major disclosed to him his desire to purchase only the gifted pig, affairs assumed a different complexion. The swine driver declared he would not part with Duncan (such was the gifted pig’s name,) for his life, seeing that he was guide pig, and could so prognosticate storms as to entirely dispense with the use of a barometer. A few more appeals on behalf of the inconsolable woman, however, and the swine driver agreed to part with Duncan, upon condition that he be kept as one of the family until he returned that way, receiving care according to his gifts. The major pledged his military reputation that not a bristle on his back should be disturbed, and also that he should receive such attention from the family as would make his domestic happiness complete. And as a pledge of his faith, he proceeded to present the swine driver with three nutmeg graters, two strainers, and a sheepskin, the wool of which he swore was worth not less than two dollars.
The swine driver received these presents with much condescension, but said it was necessary they agree that the pig be weighed, as that would be a means of ascertaining how he fared during his stay with the lonely woman. This point being settled satisfactorily, the pig answered to his name, and ran to his master with the docility of a spaniel. And now, amidst the loudest of squeals his lungs were capable of, his hind legs were secured and his body hung suspended by the steelyards, the dog in the meantime keeping up a loud barking, and threatening to make ribbons of the major’s coat-tails for taking such improper liberties with his friend. "Eighty-four pounds, exactly," muttered the drover, counting the notches upon his steelyards as the major bagged his pet, who continued to give out so many squeals of distress that the sagacious dog seized the major by the broad disc of his pantaloons, and so rent them that he swore none but his wife, Polly Potter, had ever seen him in such a plight. Nevertheless, he placed the pig safely upon his wagon, and having mended the breach in his dignity with a few pins, proceeded on his journey, in what he considered a good condition. "To be torn to pieces by a blasted dog! He didn’t know me, though, poor brute," muttered the major, rubbing the injured parts with his left hand, and tossing his head in caution of what might be expected another time.
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