WHY DO I KEEP SPLITTING UP WITH PEOPLE
If you have had a string of failed relationships, it’s time to have a think about what has been going on. Us serial break up artists have to face the fact that it can’t always be the fault of the other party. We’ve been sabotaging our relationships somehow, and it’s time to do something about it.
You may be choosing your partners for the wrong reasons. A beautiful or handsome partner can be a great ego boost, and great eye candy. But if there’s no personality behind those breathtaking good looks, the novelty is going to wear off pretty quickly, and you’ll be left with what amounts to a pretty pet. The partner you can have a good conversation with and can make you laugh will outlast the pretty boy or girl. So when choosing a partner, think about the long term instead of the quick thrills.
For those who find themselves SPLITTING UP with people constantly, then think about why you rejected that partner. Is it because you held them up to your ideal which no living person could ever achieve? We sometimes expect our partners to be perfect, and for the splitter-upper, this can mean they run from the relationship as soon as there is a hint our partner is not our prince or princess charming. Everyone has flaws, and for a long term relationship we must learn to accept them, as our partners need to accept ours.
Sometimes we can have a bad relationship in the past, and this caused us to transfer these feelings to our new relationship. The first way this can happen is that simply you do not trust your new partner as much as you should. You expect them to hurt you the same way your previous partner did. We can also think of our love life as one continuous relationship; we may have split up and moved onto a new partner, but we carry on with the same small bickering that eroded the last. To remove this trait from our personal relationships takes time and an amount of soul searching.
A classic problem is that when things get heavy, we want to head for the hills. The fear of being hurt is a big part of this, when we feel our emotions getting more powerful our subconscious can want to protect us from a reoccurrence of previous hurt.
Fear of loss of freedom, the feeling that one is settling for a life less than our ideal, feelings that one is trapped going down one inevitable route – these can all surface for those of us who have a fear of commitment. This can be exacerbated by outside factors such as parental or peer pressure to settle down. The way to tackle this is to realize its existence, and speak to your partner about it. If you can let them know of your exact fears and that you are telling them because you want your relationship to be stronger, you may be able to stop yourself from running away from a relationship that is actually working well.
Get your free subscription to LoveLifeMagazine.com and automatically receive new articles direct to your inbox.
Paul B.
Processing your request, Please wait....
