Some misconceptions about family therapy
The first misconception about family therapy is that it takes a very long time (possibly years) to complete. From the beginning family therapy has always been fast and brief therapy. This is what is so attractive about it. For example, the number of sessions it takes for a problem with a child to be resolved is around seven! This is because the family therapists have found a lot quicker way to help their patients than their colleagues from the past. As opposed to traditional therapy which could take as much as several years of pointless talking once a week with no problem resolution, family therapy finds a solution for a problem right away without any delays. That is why it is a form of therapy that should not be underestimated or avoided because of the bad reputation of its predecessors.
A lot of parents think that the therapist in family therapy is going to blame them for the occurrence of the problem in the child. Why else should the parents come with the child to the family therapy sessions? The parents of children with problems already feel bad about themselves because of their children’s problems. They do not want to feel even worse than that by having a therapist point them out and say that they are dysfunctional. There is no wonder that parents are not that excited about undergoing family therapy. This is the second important misconception related to family therapy.
One of the most basic notions when it comes to family therapy (we Danes call it effektive parterapi) is the concept for joining. This means that the family therapist has to listen very carefully and without being judgmental all of the members of the family. The therapist might think that it is better if some of the rules of parenting get changed. For example, the parents might need to become more consistent about their rules and the consequences for the child if it does not follow them. Moreover, the parents might need to change the way they communicate with each other and they might have to learn not to shout in front of their child. Family therapists are aware of the fact that they need to build a positive relationship with the parents of a child with problems as well as with the child itself. Family therapists try to form a team with the parents of the child with problems.
Most parents believe that the whole family should attend every family therapy session. This might be a nightmare in terms of schedules for the parents that have to go to work. Nowadays, it might be a problem to have a dinner with the whole family once a week let alone find time during a work day to go to family therapy together. This is another misconception related to family therapy.
Typically, the parents will need to attend the first session with their child. After that, the family therapist will decide which one of the parents they want to work with every time.