Love & Intimacy
Leslie and Rob were married for just over fourteen years however Rob had just hit Leslie with a bombshell: he wanted to leave her. Scared, afraid, and fearing abandonment, Leslie contacted a consoler to speak about her situation. After speaking with the consoler and following the guidelines provided, Leslie and Rob are, just one year later, now more deeply in love than when they first met! Here is their story.
Leslie was abandoned by several family members during her childhood and this fear of being left alone caused her to start trying to take care of what everyone else wanted and needed rather than her. Since she wanted so desperately to keep those closest to her with her she hid her feelings and only worked to make them happy. As she grew older Leslie continued this ‘caretaker’ role even as she became married and had children.
Unfortunately Leslie did not realize that her neglect and lack of respect for herself led her husband and children to treat her the same way she was treating herself. Since she didn’t care about her feelings, they in turn didn’t either. This pain and anger at the way she was being treated led Leslie to lash out at them and it came to the point where Rob had had enough. He felt like a victim to Leslie’s anger and, at the point of leaving, decided to go with her to consoling.
Both Leslie and Rob were making critical mistakes in the way they treated others and allowed themselves to be treated and this led their marriage to its breaking point. Thankfully they were not without hope. With the guidance of a consoler they realized their mistakes. Rob was allowing Leslie to lash out at him without telling her the truth of his feelings and Leslie was putting everyone else’s feelings above her own until she couldn’t take it anymore. Committed to working on their relationship they each set out to rectify the way they were allowing themselves to be treated.
Rob learned to tell Leslie the way he was feeling and to set limits on how she was treating him and Leslie learned to deal with her feelings of abandonment and stand up for what she wanted without feeling selfish. After working together and following the guidelines set out by their consoler both Rob and Leslie are now happier than ever after just a year of being at the breaking point.
Relationship advice 101 – Read more about how to maintain important relationships and how to enhance a relationship at Relationshipadvice101.org.
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