Do’s and Don’ts of Joining a Swinging Club
A lot of swingers or wannabe swingers think that most important thing about joining a swingers club is choosing what swinger club to join. But which swingers club to join comes much later in a long list Do’s and Don’ts of Joining a Swinger Club. There’s actually a lot of research on swinging and much self-reflection that must be accomplished by a swinger before joining a swingers club.
The first on the list of Do’s and Don’ts of Joining a Swinging Club is Do Have a Partner. You may be a swinger, but you are unlikely to be joining a swingers club alone. Swinging is not synonymous with being married, but it is mostly committed couples who swing as a pair that are going to the swinger clubs. Singles can be (and are) swingers too, but, like it or not, the rule is “Clubs cater to couples.” Most swinger clubs permit single males to enter, but they are often highly restricted in the total number allowed in the club. And single males almost always must be in the company of a swinger couple that sponsors them. Additionally single males are rarely allowed membership and will almost always pay a premium for entrance to a swinger club. Females, conversely, are usually allowed unrestricted entrance and memberships at very low costs. But single female swingers at clubs are so rare that they are often referred to as Unicorns—beautiful mythological creatures that are hard to find and rarely ridden.
Do Talk with Your Partner. Face it. There’s no way you’re going to just waltz into a swingers club without first talking with your spouse! The time to tell your spouse (or significant other in a long-term committed relationship) that you want to start swinging is NOT when you walk up to the front desk of a swinger club on a Saturday night. For many people, joining the local swinger club is the first act in their path in the swinging lifestyle. If you haven’t already had swinger experiences or have been dipping your toe in the swinger lifestyle, then you need to be having a LOT of conversations about your relationship, your needs, your desires, your dating life, and why you think you’d like to try swinging. Swinging is NOT for everyone. Yes, many people dabble in swinging or what could be described as swinging activities (up to 50 million people according to a study by Dr. Curtis Bergstrand), but that doesn’t mean it is for everyone. You must both be interested in swinging or it will never work. A bad relationship will go downhill even faster with swinging if you are both not on board equally. The obvious corollaries to this axiom are Don’t Pressure Your Spouse to Join and Don’t Go Alone. Swinging is meant to be fun and free. Coercion has no place in swinging and “No” always means “No.” It is also a huge social faux paus to join a swinger club and then only one of you really play. Or worse, if you both join as a couple but only one of you actually ever goes. Such people are known as “tickets” where the second person gains entrance to a swinger club but only one of them intends on actually swinging.
Do Your Research. Not all swinger clubs are created equal, and some swinging clubs are not at all what some would expect. You may be very surprised if you go to a swingers club and find out that the clientele is more interested in whips and chains with leather than swapping in a hot tub or group relationship in the orgy room. You can get an idea of the clientele of a swinging club based on location, but this is not always accurate. Some highly exclusive clubs can be found in deep woods and rural areas and many upscale swinger clubs are also found in industrial zone. Pick the swinger club that caters to your desires. Do they allow singles? How many single men are allowed in? Do they have swinging nights? Is the club an On-Premise or Off-Premise club? Do they have a liquor license? Do they have a dress code? Do they have rules of exclusivity on factors such as age, weight, body type, etc.? Are thy accredited by NASCA as an Equal Opportunity Lifestyle Organization (EOLO)? How far away are they from your work and home? Many of these answers cannot be determined ahead of time. You may end up frequenting several lifestyle clubs in your area until you find the swingers club you want to join.
Don’t Expect too Much or Too Little. Some people join swingers clubs or enter the lifestyle with grossly exaggerated expectations of what is likely to happen or what they want to happen. This is normally the problem with the younger crowd. Young people often come into a club with the naïve expectation that it is going to be nothing but underwear models and beautiful young people in clusters by the dozens of licking bodies on a raised Dias. Wrong. That may be Hollywood or the adult industry, but it is not the reality of the swinging lifestyle. The mean age of a swinger is 39 and they look it—with those above and below that age. Still, swinger couples can be very selective.
Do Dress to Impress. No jeans or ripped clothes.
Do Groom Yourself. Comb your hair, brush your teeth, take a shower, shave your genitals. No kidding. Shave your junk. It’s fashion in swinging and many will not lick you if you pubes are not shaved or at least closely cropped. Remember, it’s is much harder now to get everyone to agree to have dating than it was when there were just two of you. Now everyone has to be compatible.
Do Be Safe and Do Use Discretion. Swinging is supposed to be fun and recreational. When you join swinger clubs make sure you bring condoms and always respect people’s privacy.
Don’t Ask about Personal Lives. Many are on the “down low” at swinger clubs and expect to remain anonymous dating partners for the night. A good rule of thumb is to keep your cock bagged and your mouth shut. Men should never talk about other couples or partners they have played with. Let the ladies or the couples decide who they will talk about. Your reputation will precede you—as a single or as a swinger couple.
There are many other rules and guidelines for joining and behaving properly at a swinging club, but these are the most important ones as you decide if you are going to join a swingers club. In all things, be courteous and respectful, do you research, have proper expectations, be safe, and most of all enjoy the relationship!
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