Top 10 reasons why the Tea Bag party is going to go the way of disco music, streaking and the pet rock
With the recent brouhaha surrounding the passage of health care, I think its fair say that many of us have never seen a nation so seem seemingly divided on any issue. But if our national track record is any indication, we’ll get over it and move on. We always do.
A lot of the comments, particularly from the far right, have been downright nasty. Sure, I know that what makes American great is that anyone with a soap box or an apple crate (or 15 seconds of air time) can get up and say what’s on their mind. We are taught that it’s OK to express our opinion even if others don’t agree (or think it’s so far out in left field that even the great Willie Mays wouldn’t be able to track it down).
I have been amused by the recent Tea Party uprising. Uprising may be too strong a word, maybe the Tea Party Tupperware party. I don’t think they are going to make it. Sure this is coming from a pretty progressive, middle aged white guy (insert mud slinging here) but I think I see a movement that comes on strong and then fades away, not unlike a 100 million dollar movie production that goes straight to video.
So here they are, my top 10 reasons why the Tea Bag party is going to go the way of disco music, streaking and the pet rock.
1. There are only so many ways you can use the word “SUCKS” on a protest sign.
2. They will discover that the whole movement is just an elaborate scheme to sell t-shirts on eBay.
3. Their mothers will stop letting them go out so much at night (even though they are mostly over 50) and will probably start making them pay rent for living in the basement. I don’t think that paper route is going to cut it, Bubba!
4. Their local groups will splinter into green tea and regular tea factions with a great deal of infighting. A few will even veer hard to the left with flavored teas and discover they are actually moderate Democrats after all.
5. Tea party leaders will be caught in a restroom stall at the Dallas airport scrawling poorly written graffiti on the walls and stick figures of Obama. They will all be naked except for their trucker hats.
6. The new reality show, “Who wants to marry a Tea bagger?” will flop and be pulled when it is revealed that, in fact, nobody does.
7. Sarah Palin will be the Presidential nominee of the Tea Party, but will spend all $895 of the campaign budget on clothes at Ross Dress for Less leaving the party broke.
8. President Obama will say that he respects the passion of the tea baggers and wishes them the best. Many will jump into the nearest bay off a tall ship or move to Costa Rica to score painkillers off the street with Rush.
9. A prominent tea bagger and a progressive democrat will fall in love and elope. News of this event will be turned into a popular Broadway theatrical production and later into a Hallmark movie-of-the-week. The ladies on The View will love it causing tea baggers to suffer deep emotional scars and question the movement.
10. Sylvester Stallone will make a 7th “Rocky” film in which he takes on the tea bagger heavyweights. Yes, people will still pay good money to see a 60+ year old actor beat the living crap out of a bunch of middle aged, white rednecks.
The author writes on a number of topics including living and working overseas and diet and exercise with the Wii Fit and Wii Fit Plus.
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