How To Stop Divorce
If you want to find out how to stop divorce, the situation is going to depend on many factors. For example, a lot depends on how far things have gone down the line toward a divorce and what your spouse thinks about it too. It also makes a difference where you live.
If nobody has filed for divorce yet, then you can stop divorce by simply agreeing with your spouse that you will both wait a while before filing. Often, it is easier to get your spouse to agree to wait a while, because it sounds like a compromise between divorcing and not divorcing. But in fact agreeing to wait means that you are not divorcing for the present time.
Then you just have to continue that state of affairs for as long as possible, and try to get into some counseling. You cannot expect your spouse to commit to never divorcing you unless your spouse has religious reasons that you can call upon.
If the divorce has already been filed, then it is more difficult to stop divorce. All US states and most other states and nations in the western world now allow for a ‘no fault’ divorce, the state of New York being the last to accept this with legislation going through in August 2010. In some cases there must be a period of separation before the divorce can become final. However, this means that in the end, it is just about impossible to stop a divorce by legal means these days. The court will almost certainly approve the divorce sooner or later.
Divorces may be contested or uncontested. An uncontested divorce is where both parties have come to an agreement on all points including division of property and custody of children. Usually, lawyers are still involved in helping you reach agreement on those points, and it may take some time to settle everything before going to court. In some states also there is some delay due to the court simply being very busy. However, an uncontested divorce will usually go through pretty fast once it is brought before the court.
7 Signs Your Husband Is Having An Affair
So what are the signs your husband is having an affair? If you think your husband may be cheating, you will want to know the answer to that. Check out the tips below to see if your man fits the profile of a cheating husband.
1. Hiding The Phone
In the old days, it was a suspicious amount of ‘wrong numbers’ or callers who hung up when you answered the phone. Now we have cellphones, things are a little different.
One of the biggest signs your husband is having an affair is when a guy who used to leave his phone all around the house suddenly keeps it welded to his pocket. He’s not going to risk you seeing one of her texts before he has a chance to delete it.
2. Working Late
So well known we hardly have to mention it. Of course, some husbands really do work late, but they usually have the overtime payments to prove it. Does he call you from his cellphone to tell you when he will be home? Then he’s probably not really in the office, or he would use his office phone.
3. Bringing You Gifts
Is he bringing you gifts or being extra thoughtful and affectionate? That is one of the classic signs that your husband is having an affair. For example, a husband who has never bought you flowers before, suddenly comes home with a bouquet two weeks in a row. Be suspicious – he could be compensating for guilty feelings.
4. It’s All Your Fault
He may have brought you gifts in the beginning, but after the affair has continued for a while, things are likely to switch around. Are you having arguments over every little thing? Is he blaming you for everything that goes wrong? He cannot handle feeling guilty any more, so he is starting to look for reasons why the affair (and everything else) is your fault.
5. Looking Good
One of the greatest giveaway signs your husband is having an affair is that he starts to be a lot more concerned about his personal appearance. He’s suddenly on a diet, working out regularly, or using personal care items that he never bothered with before. He may even buy new clothes or change his hairstyle.
6. Unexplained Expenses
Having an affair costs money, and that money has to come from somewhere. If you get to see his credit card bills or have a shared bank account you will probably find that he is taking out more cash than he used to.
At the same time, it is clear that he is not spending that cash on you, your kids or your home. In fact, he is likely to complain about how much everything costs, because he wants that money for another purpose.
7. Mileage and Gas
Is the car doing more miles than you would expect, or using more gas? That is another of the signs your husband is having an affair. A cheating spouse will almost certainly be doing more driving than his regular commute. Unless he drives for a living, you can learn a lot by recording his mileage.
If you see his credit card statements, look at where he is buying gas. If it’s in a residential area that he has no reason to visit, you may have just found out where ‘she’ lives.
Sometimes, of course, you could be suspicious and you could be wrong. But if you check all of these signs your husband is having an affair, you may be close to knowing the truth.
In the old days of ‘fault’ divorces, it was theoretically possible to contest and even stop divorce on the grounds that you were not guilty of the fault that you were accused of, which would usually be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, etc. This was a painful process that resulted in all of the history of the marriage being dragged out in court from both partners’ points of view. It was rare that the defense was successful so perhaps it is not such a bad thing that ‘fault’ divorces are becoming a thing of the past.
With a ‘no fault’ divorce, if the parties do not agree on all of the issues, then the person filing may have to wait longer before the divorce will go through. The court will have to decide any of the issues that have not been agreed, such as division of property. In this time, you may have the chance to persuade your spouse to attend for marriage counseling and reconsider. There may be some benefit in contesting the division of property for this reason. However, you should always take legal advice, and be aware that if you ask the court to decide on property matters you could finish up losing out.
Keep in mind that even if you succeed and stop divorce for right now, that does not necessarily mean that you and your spouse will continue to live together. There may be a separation. However if you can agree to stop divorce and seek marriage counseling together, there is a much bigger chance that the marriage will be saved.
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