How to Communicate Effectively with Your Partner
Do you feel that your partner doesn’t really understand you even you guys have been staying together and know each other for a long time? If you do, you are not alone. Many of us experience the same thing. In fact, poor or lack of communication is one of the top reasons why couple get into quarrels and fight. If not solved, many will end up in divorce or breakups.
There is hope, however. You can learn how to communicate effectively with your partner! And in this article, we are going to share with you some tips to help you communicate more effectively with your partner.
Note that communication is not the same as talking. You can talk the whole day but still feel that your message is not getting across. There is so much more to communication than merely talking.
Effective communication includes non-verbal cues like eye contact, body language, and tone of voice, as well as the words you choose. Communication also includes being able to listen and actually hear what your partner is saying.
In short, communication is a two-way street (both talking and listening). This is the most basic thing about good communication that you need to understand.
Here are some tips and techniques you can use to help you communicate better with your partner:
1. Learn to see your partner mood. If there is an issue you want to discuss, do not bring the issue up when your partner is in the bad mood. This can only end up in dispute and argument. So, learn to pick up the mood of your partner. If you want to bring up an issue, make sure you set the right stage so that effective communication can happen between you and your partner. Try to choose a time when both of you are calm and in a good mood.
2. Do not interrupt your partner when he or she is speaking. Let your partner completes the full sentence. Be patient and try to listen attentively. When your partner finishes what he or she wants to say, you can then express your views about the situation. Again, remember that it is a two-way street. So, be a good listener while other person is talking.
3. Be sensitive and learn to acknowledge your partners feelings and concerns rather than putting them down for how they feel.
4. Avoid accusations. Blaming or accusing may also be an issue you have with your partner. You can both help alleviate this problem by using “I” messages rather than “you” messages. Starting a statement with “You always” will accomplish one thing and one thing only: you, your partner, or both of you will immediately become defensive. Use “I feel” or “I think” statements to express your feelings without blaming your partner for doing, or not doing, something you thought they should.
5. Apply the active listening technique. Active listening is a technique where you paraphrase what your partner has just said. This is to confirm that you understand what they say. This technique is very effective in alleviating tension because the other person can sense that you are really listening and trying to understand them. More often than not, miscommunication occurs when both of you haven’t actually understood what the other has said. So, by paraphrasing, you are actually clarifying and confirming that you do understand what was said.
6. Focus on the real issue and do not get personal. Never bring up a personal issue into your discussion. Leave all personal issues behind and focus on the problem at hand. Avoid all kind of name calling!
If you take the time and effor to learn how to communicate more effectively with your partner by following the tips and techniques that we have just shared with you, you will be able to have a strong and long-lasting relationship with yout partner.
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