Dealing with a Break up During the Holidays.
Dealing with a break up requires skills and knowledge. However, dealing with a break up during the holiday season (and especially New Year’s Eve) requires advanced will power, dedication, and strength. “Everything that does not kill us makes us stronger.”
I was driving to a meeting, December 15th this year, when a famous LA radio host made a joke about meeting a “break up deadline.” I turned the volume up. “Guys, the official deadline for breaking up has been met. Nobody should break up from today until January 1st”. “Yeah, right,” was my initial thought….If only it was possible that so many people would remain happy during the holidays.
There are three main reasons why people break up a relationship during the holidays.
1) If a break up is a part of a “New Year’s Resolution.” This is the worst reason because even though this person might not stick to his (her) New Year’s Resolution, the “holiday break up” totally means the END. If it is not the immediate end, then it is definitely the beginning of the end.
2) If your ex associated your relationship with stress and a break up was the only way to get rid of extra stress. This situation can be undone, but it will take time and lots of patience.
3) If your significant other has another significant other and would like to move forward and spend the holidays with that person. There is no comment for this situation because it is quite obvious. There is only one way to deal with this right now – keep your oxygen and move forward.
Ways to Deal With a Breakup During the Holidays
1) Avoid mutual friends and his (her) relatives. They will be constant reminders.
2) Stay away from gatherings with couples. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, let me enlighten you – there are much more young, smart, great, good looking, quality people than you can even imagine who spend the holidays by themselves and feel absolutely happy and completed.
3) Do an inventory of your feelings – do you a) feel hurt and miss your significant other or b) do you feel lost and incomplete? If your answer is “b”, then you have to research a different topic because your problem is not the break up, but the inability to feel like a complete person on your own.
4) Have quality time with yourself. Do the same things that couples do, but by yourself. It just sounds weird. In reality it might be lots of …if not fun, but decent time. If you have a budget, book a last minute short trip. A get away is always a great way to heal your broken heart.
5) If you absolutely cannot be by yourself, find a person in your social circle who is neutral and whose company you enjoy. Spend the holidays with that person.
6) Remember that break ups happen more often than you think and you are not the only one in this situation now.
7) Keep in mind that it’s better to be by yourself than in a dysfunctional relationship with a manipulating spouse.
8) “The Holidays” is just a label and being by yourself during the holidays is no different than being by yourself during any other day. The main problem is not being by yourself, but feeling unhappy because you are by yourself at this present moment.
9) A Chinese proverb says that “problems are opportunities in working clothes”…you never know. Open your eyes and look around; you never know who you might meet.
10) Happy New Year! Even if you have problems now, the New Year will bring you new, good things if you will be open, positive, and optimistic! For more information please Visit: www.BrokenHeart911.com
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