Should You Still Save The Relationship?
All relationships can go through stormy times and go through problems at one time or another. If there is real love between you and your partner these problems will not alarm you and you will want to save the relationship and preserve it from further disrepair. Things can be worked out if you and your spouse both exert effort to avoid further troubles.
But sometimes things get so out of hand that it is not that easy to repair things up. If this is your case, you may be in a toxic relationship. How do you know that you are in one? There are signs to look for if you are actually in one. These you need to know specially if you are at a point where you are to decide if it is worth it to save the relationship or not.
1. Your partner keeps on putting you down and makes you look bad to others
2. Your partner has been manipulating you and trying to making you into something you are not
3. You have yielded to your partner’s attempts to change you and you have done this just to please him/her
4. Your partner has made you dependent on him/her that you have become an emotional wreck without them telling you what to do
5. Your partner has become a control freak and has controlled your whole being
6. Your partner professes his/her love but shows differently
You would think that if a person is in this situation, he or she would have left the relationship a long time ago. But in reality, people ordinarily stay in spite of these symptoms. Normally a person in this situation will all the more do everything to save the relationship.
The reason for this is that a relationship goes through a cycle with 3 stages:
1. Honeymoon stage, where a couple is usually in heavenly bliss and everything is superb and it seems that nothing can go wrong
2. Problem stage, where the issues start to happen and the couple find themselves facing trouble
3. Reconciliation stage, where the couple reconcile and vow to correct their ways and do better
There is nothing wrong in going through these stages but what generally happens is that the chain repeats itself and the couple goes through the same problems over and over again. Why? The basic problem lies in the fact that the couple, when going through the reconciliation stage, do not deal with the core of the problem and only tackles the surface. Thus, whatever resolution they undertake to make up is short lived.
The more enduring solution will be to sit down and talk about it and delve into what in actuality caused the falling-out. No matter how big or small the issues are, couples should take time to deal with these issues and really work on it. They should define what started the problem and deal with the root cause. It is only when you have a clear awareness of the real cause of the problem can you implement enduring solutions to these. And when you have defined the real issues besetting your relationship will you be able to establish if it is actually worth it to save the relationship or not.
Zeny Zabala is a relationship resource person who loves to write articles about marriage and relationships for individuals looking for help and inspiration in their relationships. She also provides reading recommendations on her web site with reviews on the best available reading resources on the internet today. More save the relationship advice.
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