3 Simple Ways to Foster Individuality within your Twins
Raising children is one of the most difficult, yet rewarding journeys a mother could ever ask for. However, both the reward and difficulty are multiplied when raising twins. As a parent, it is your responsibility to encourage a development of individuality within each of your twins. Though your children may look alike, or even identical in many cases, beyond the surface they\’re very different people. Your twins have different aspirations, likes, dislikes, hobbies and styles of self expression. Help them explore their individuality and teach them that it is okay to think, speak and act differently from their twin sibling.
1. Schedule separate activities. Each child has his or her own interests. Therefore, use this as an opportunity to give your twins time apart from each other by signing them up for separate activities. Of course, if they want to partake in the same club or lessons, by all means encourage it. But, if one of your children expresses an interest in taking ballet classes and the other expresses an interest in piano lessons, indulge them. This time apart from one another will allow them to create their own friendships outside of their twinship. And, as an added benefit, you\’ll be able to create quality time with each child while their twin is attending a class or club of their choice.
2. Enjoy quality time with each child. Your children have been referred to as a unit since your twin pregnancy. In order to break the cycle of treating them as a unit, create opportunities to shower each child with love and attention. Although quality family time as a whole is important, showering each child with individual attention from each parent is equally as important. This fosters a sense of individuality within each child, and allows them to create memories alone with mommy and daddy that are their own, without the shadow of their twin.
Cuddle up in bed with one of your children and watch their favorite television show or movie, while daddy showers the other child with love and attention in another room. Ask both children to help both you and daddy prepare tonight\’s meal. Ask one to help you prepare the dessert for the night, while the other helps dad with the main course for dinner. Or, write poems and stories with one child, while the other is consumed in another task. Seize every opportunity to shower both of your children with individual attention, whether you\’re all in the same room as a family, or wrapped up in separate tasks.
3. Give each child their own possessions. If at all possible, limit the amount of toys or art supplies your children have to share. While sharing can be a good way to build character, allow your children to choose whether they want to share rather than forcing them into it. Purchasing multiples of many items, such as toys, crayons, markers, construction paper pads and more will save both parents and children many years of aggravation.
Chances are, if your twins are coloring and one happens to pick up the red crayon, the other will immediately develop a desire for the very same crayon that is being used by their twin. Give each child their own set of toys, art supplies, clothes (if they\’re old enough to dress themselves), and label them. You can simply use a permanent marker to stamp an initial onto the bottom of each toy. Or, if the children share the same first initial, assign a child a color, (e.g. Jimmy\’s toys have a blue scribble on the bottom of them, and Jenny\’s have an orange scribble).
Expecting Twins, a reference and resource guide for twin pregnancy and parents expecting twins or multiples.
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