Dating and Being a Single Parent – Oh the Insanity!
I remember the days of dating and being a single parent. Some of my single friends and I were out at lunch and they got on the topic of dating and being a single parent. I would like to share some of their fears and concerns.
1. Physical or sexual abuse. First and foremost for any single parent is sexual or physical abuse. I remember being single one time when my daughter had a UTI and this doctor totally wigged me out he was like “single mothers are targeted by pedophiles a lot”. That raised an eyebrow and actually that was the first time the thought had crossed my mind. I was super paranoid from that point forward. The rules you need follow is be cautious at all times, have open communication with your child or children, and do not leave them alone with anyone until you feel comfortable and confident about that person.
2. Attachment. Next fear that came up was the child or children getting too attached to someone and the relationship not working out. This is a big deal because everyone can get hurt in that situation. The best thing to do is do not let your child meet that person until you feel that the relationship is going to or could be long term.
3. Balance. Making enough time for the other person and the child. I know of a lot of relationships that have ended because the other person felt there was not enough time for them. I look at it like this it is not the child’s fault that you are single; the child should never be left on the back burner for your personal life. However there is nothing wrong with getting a sitter a couple times a month and going out or if the child sees the other parent, you can make plans on those weekends. Plus when you do meet someone and have intentions of dating that person you need to make it clear what you can and cannot do. If that person does not agree, they are not worth your time.
4. Stability. There can be a lot of instability when a parent is trying to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. You might think this is the one and you bring your child around but shortly after you realize, no they are not for me. That situation is almost impossible to avoid. But you do not even have to introduce them to the person for instability to set in. It may be that you talk about the person, talk to the person on the phone or online. The child gets used to this persons name, then one day it is another name. That situation can occur a lot when you are online dating. I suggest really keeping your potential relationships on the down low till you know there is going to be something there.
Those are some of the top reasons I came across. It is not easy being a single parent trying to find the love of your life. You just need to be patient and you will meet the right person. All you can do is be careful, nobody is perfect. The best thing to do is not beat yourself up when something does not go the way you hoped. You just need to help your child or children through the situation. It will not help them if you come down to hard on yourself. Just get back up and dust your knees off and carry on.
Jennifer Haskett
eQpid.com
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