Living Without Depression
Depression is a form of escapism; it is a way of protecting one’s self from the outside world. By reverting inward one is able to let go of reality, to turn off events and withdraw. Depression can be caused by many events, real or imagined. It is a sense of being overwhelmed, being overtaken by emotion, the world, or even ourselves. Sometimes the idea of who we are and how we interact with the world becomes too much. And the easiest behavior is to pull back, withdraw, and wait it out. Best not to deal with the situation, for even the idea of it becomes overwhelming. Of course, once this becomes a habit, once the road has been laid, more is added and the behavior deepens. Life is not a battle, there is nothing to hide from and believing there is keeps the obstacle in front of us.
With nothing to hide from, the light of reality often sheds truth on the moment. Is it really so overwhelming? Is it unattainable? Does it need to be avoided? Do your feelings need to be ignored? Hiding even from what you feel leads to a feeling of insurmountable insecurity. How we feel is real, even if only in that moment, it is us. It passes; all emotions do if we let them. So too can depression. It is not something we wear around our necks. It is not our badge to suffer through. It is not us for it is not true.
Depression is a hole to hide in. Therefore, if you have the strength and you do, although you may convince yourself otherwise, you can climb out. Once you are convinced that life is not out to hurt, there is no need to hide. You can be present with the truth of what put you there. Why did you feel the need to let go of your life, to be absent? What was so big you could not cope? When you honestly look at yourself now, from this state of depression, do you still see the need? Do you find yourself slipping in and out, dependent on your surroundings, work, or even just the state of your mood? Life does feel like it has ups and downs, but not being present does not protect you. In fact, it makes life seem like a huge rollercoaster when in fact it can be a pleasant stroll. Sure there are surprises in life, unexpected events, but they are part of you and only part of that one moment.
Life moves freely, things change, and when you let go of the idea that you need protection you may find that you need it less and less. For to be part of life, to live as you are meant to, present within yourself, you will see life is full of promise too. There is hope and happiness in the world. It is not necessary to expect the worst or to be prepared for it. Is that hole a place you want to be? Does it truly help you? Do you feel safer or more alone? Does hiding from yourself and others make life any easier or is a method used but no longer usable? We manage as best we can in life, finding ways to cope with what seems insurmountable. We all go about it differently, for some this is the easiest path. It works to some degree for them. Yet it hinders change, growth, and freedom with life.
To allow one’s self to live life is to let go of the need to protect one’s self, to see clearly why you feel the need and what puts you in that state or behavior. Is it your relationship, a friend, what happened years ago, or something today? What leads to your removal from the moment, from even yourself? The truth is you can deal, you are strong enough to head thing off as they come. You can be present with it for that is the only method that allows for change. If you are honest with yourself, you can see all the strength and perseverance you have used to keep yourself protected and safe. It is a lot of energy, a lot to hold and even easier to let it go.
To be free of depression is to say to yourself I can be me right now, right here, and I will be okay. I will survive this moment for it will change. I will lift up with it and move forward because I am not hiding from life, I am part of it. To be part of life, to live your own life fully is the best gift you can give yourself. It gives you energy, it builds, and you will begin to see the strength and bravery you really do have, for it has been there all along.
Depression is not the end; it is not all of it. It is only a place to leave behind. It is not your truth; it is an outdated method of dealing with your life. It holds no more purpose than that. Enjoy who you are for you are capable of living and taking part in everything that comes. You may find yourself truly enjoying not knowing, being excited about your future because you are free to do so. You have let yourself let go of what was holding you back and accepted what is or may come. Let yourself be free and find out that life can be easy, that you can become one with it, and there is no reason to hide anymore.
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