If You Want Your Ex Back – Then Who Doesn’t?
If there is one objectionable task that most of us have to suffer, it’s a breaking-up with our lover. Usually, the event is bristling with acrimony and ill feeling. But, in the long run, everybody usually leaves unscathed. Thank goodness it’s over. That was certainly one beastly occurrence of your life and now it’s all water off a duck’s back.
The only obstacle is that it isn’t behind you.
Now that you have been apart for a while, you kind of get that sensation that you feel inclined to get back with your ex. The only trouble is that you don’t really know how to go about it. If you constantly try to keep in touch with your ex you are in danger of being subject to accusation of harassment. However, if you don’t try and communicate, then your ex will nevermore know how you feel.
The humor of the situation is that your ex may be meditating exactly the same thing as you. They wish to get back together, only they don’t want to get in touch with you in case it just leads to another shouting joust.
So, what is the correct approach to use when you hunger to get back with your ex?
Well, I’ve been there, done it, bought the teeshirt – and given the teeshirt to the charity shop.
Before anything else, remember that you and your ex in the beginning hitched up together because you were each tempted to one another. So, as dire as your current situation may seem, it is without doubt anything but irreversible. Unless you have had a personality transplant, or critical cosmetic surgery, then those aspects that you are blessed with that first attracted your ex still remain.
Subsequently, do not consign to oblivion what notable characteristics of your ex initially delighted you. This is essential because any rekindling of a romantic bond has to be a two-way undertaking. You need to centralize on what features of your ex you liked otherwise, when you ultimately do meet up, you’ll subconsciously be broadcasting the wrong signals.
Having thought about the common fondness you once displayed for each other, now you must engineer a dialogue. But, be careful, this step is fraught with dangers; fluff it and you can wave adios to your friendship.
In today’s world, there are numerous ways to communicate. Apart from the obvious talking together, in person or at the other end of a phone, there is a multitude of electronic means. Online instant messaging, email, text messaging, Facebook, twitter… I could go on, but no matter how many particular ways I listed, I’m sure you could think of an extra one or two. So, just fill up the list yourself.
Anyhow, which modus operandi should you utilize when endeavouring to communicate with an ex?
Well, since you know you ex intimately, you beyond doubt know their choice means of communication. Very likely, you yourself will have a different favourite. The best option, unless you are absolutely sure that you ex has been dispatching out the come-on signals, is to adopt an impartial means of contact.
This selection may at first seem strange, but ponder this. Say your ex is a Facebook devotee. Well, you may think that Facebook is the best way to make that initial speculative approach.
Absolutely not.
If your ex is not yet psyched up to favor a reconciliation, then by encroaching on their favourite turf they may well believe that you are invading their territory.
So, an unbiased means of contact it is?
But, what should your first missive to your ex be? Certainly not along the lines of: “I can’t live without you. I want you back.” Then you go on to deliver an Oscar winning acceptance speech, full of off the cuff sincerity and indiscreet musings – despite the many rehearsals.
That kind of begging is likely to set the Notra Dame alarms ringing.
No, your most desirable alternative is to keep the message short and sweet. Give them justification to reply. Ask them a question. The kind of question that carries no likelihood of being received as an recrimination. Something along the lines of: Did I leave my brown pair of shoes with you? Now you know that you would not on your life leave your shoes anywhere and your ex will know that too. So, this kind of question will not feel intimidating and it will give your ex a reason to get back to you – if they wish to.
If your ex doesn’t reply then don’t persist. Let things remain quiet for a week or more. Then give it another low-pitched try.
If your following attempt fails to bring a reaction then you just have to cease trying to manipulate a contact.
At this stage it might be best to put some feelers out to common friends that you both share. See if you can get any productive reaction from those friends. If not, then be prepared to sit it out for a time.
Having made it to this point you are certainly in need of some expert relationship advice. There are ways and means, but you actually need to know what you are doing and comprehend the dynamics of the circumstances.
Believe me, I know. I’ve made every slip-up in the book, and suffered countless hours of prolonged anxiety, before I finally stumbled upon the magic formula. However, also believe me, with the right instruction you can cut the odds and get your ex back. I’m living proof of that…
© All Rights Reserved: This article is copyright protected. You may only republish or redistribute it, or extracts of it, if this copyright notice and all hyperlinks remain intact.
The author has a First Class B.Sc (Hons) degree and is a friend of the owner of the informative Get My Ex Back relationship website. This blog chronicles an actual case history of a fraught break-up and the eventual reconciliation. Yes, the http://www.back-ex.com/ website editor got their ex back!
Processing your request, Please wait....
