Letting Go After A Divorce
Letting go of a relationship, whether it is a divorce, a separation, or ending a friendship, can be a very hard moment to go through. When we let go of anything we are emotionally attached to, we tend to prolong the moment with our desire and thoughts, especially if we are not the ones wishing it to end. By being present, it can be easier. By looking back, we fall into the trap of holding onto something that no longer exists for us. It can then be an extremely trying time, both emotionally and mentally, consuming us as much as we let it, overriding other parts of our lives. This is understandable, for in a marriage or in another close relationship, we can be very deeply invested and connected to it. We have come to identify ourselves with this other person as part of us. We must let go of what we were and how we saw ourselves with this other person, and instead come to identify ourselves as being complete on our own. For when we miss the relationship, we tend to think we have lost ourselves as well. We believe that without our companion, we are less than we were and cannot cope with the loss.
When you are losing a relationship, whether it is your best friend or someone even more closely connected to your heart, it is important to remember that without this other person, you are still you. You have not lost yourself so much as gained a new perspective within your own life. Perhaps you can see yourself more clearly once you have truly let go of this other person. You can then see how you have truly grown and what is best for you in the future. It is important not to bury yourself in the grief of the loss. Rather, see it as a new moment for you, a moment where if you choose to walk forward instead of looking back, you will see the opportunities ahead. Remember, when we lose something we tend to look to our past to make up for the loss. We remember what was good so that we can hold onto it. We do this so much we overlook the other side of the equation, we become unbalanced in our memories, in our hearts, and in the reality of the truth of what it was.
Separation is a moment of release if we allow it to be, and release leads to transformation and new beginnings. By being present with the moment that we are in, the real truth of it, we will understand we cannot really hold onto it. In fact, it is far better to let go of the moment, so that we can heal and move on. By then choosing to let it pass and to instead look forward into that which we do not know, we open up room for true growth and opportunity to come into our lives. By releasing the emotions and ideas attached to this other person, you are allowing yourself to become more of who you are, open to the future and all the possibilities and happiness it will bring.
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