Letting Go Of Control Issues
Feeling the need to be in control is a strong habit. It helps us to feel safe, at peace, and content, but only on the surface, for under the desired effect of trying to control lies the real discontentment that is causing the action. The continued desire for control will override any satisfaction obtained by maintaining it; it is a losing battle, for in gaining control over anything there is also the desire to maintain it. When control is absolved, we lose the satisfaction we had found; we lose the peace of mind we had gained, and instead we experience more turmoil because we have lost it. By experiencing a loss of control, we then need to try to further our control over more around us.
By trying to control something, we are coming from a place that is cyclical and never-ending, and we are only promoting further dissatisfaction within ourselves. This cycle tends to aggravate the need; it contributes to further behavior and perpetrates the desire. Most people find themselves needing to control more in their lives, in more ways than are possible, thus experiencing a heightened sense of disappointment, disillusionment and deep dissatisfaction. How can this be helped, especially if one finds themselves so deeply entrenched in the cycle? One must first come to understand that control is unobtainable within the reality that is prominent in our lives. Sure we can try; we can hold onto and manage what we can, but there will always come a time when we lose that control and falter, and then our peace of mind is lost and we seek something else to control.
The need for control is a big issue for many people and there is more than one way to look at why it exists. The desire comes from more than one point, each individual for that person. It could be that something was lost, and in order to feel safe again, the effect released the need to control. It could be that under the desire lies the true satisfaction of being in charge. But where does that come from? It comes from the need to be right which is fostered by a feeling of inadequacy. Another option is that the sense one feels by maintaining control is one really seeking to find peace within. Or it could be that one is really lost and is grabbing onto anything that feels stable in their life. The list can be unending, reaching out from different causes and symptoms. The end result being that there is some satisfaction in gaining control. But of course, as we now know, this only leads to disaster because nothing can truly be controlled, except for who we are deep within. We may not even feel this and we tend to look outward to compensate for this feeling. If one fully accepted who they were, and thus felt peace and contentment from within, would it then be truly necessary to reach outwards for this same feeling? Perhaps by finding it within, one will accept that control is nonessential, that it provides nothing but a feeling of loss and discontentment. We don’t need to struggle with the never-ending battle of trying to control everything. We can live without the idea of control, and instead find peace and contentment within ourselves as we are meant to.
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