How to Work on Your Marriage
Marriage takes work. It’s not always going to be a happy and joyful place. Sometimes marriages start to feel like they are falling apart or starting to unravel. Once you get into this state you either start to want to work on your marriage and make it better or you decide to let it continue to unravel. Chances are if you are reading this article then you have decided you want to work on your marriage.
Wondering how to save your marriage is really the first step in actually saving it. It shows that you care enough about the marriage to want to continue on with it.
If you want to work on marriage and help it survive and thrive, then you have to focus on the 4 basic needs of a marriage that are always in desire of being met in order to be happy. Chances are that if you marriage has taken a turn for the worse, then one of these 4 basic needs are not being met.
The Need for Love
This is the one of the most basic needs in the universe, and especially in a marriage. Knowing you are loved is what makes life joyful and fulfilling and many people start to suffer when they feel they are not loved – especially when they feel not loved by their spouse.
Being loved gives you wings. It can give you confidence and inspiration in life. It can push you forward towards your dreams. It can allow you to be the person you want to be. And not being loved can cause you to give up all those things and feel worthless, depressed, or lonely.
If you want to work on your marriage then make sure you show your spouse that you love them. They need your love, and the more you let them know you love them the more they will feel close to you.
The Need to Feel Important
Every day we pass thousands of people. We are not important to them. We are just specs on their radar, if we even make their radar. But when we get married we become important to someone. This is an incredible feeling and everyone wants to feel important like this.
When you feel important to someone you feel as though you are adding value to someone’s life and as though you make a difference in their life. It makes you feel special and unique and significant. It’s an important part of any marriage.
If you want to work on your marriage then make sure you let your spouse know that they are important to you. Let them know that they are someone who matters to you and makes a difference in their life. Let them know that they are a significant part of your life now and always.
The Need to Be Intimate
Marriage is the one place you can really be intimate with someone, in all senses of the word. There is emotional intimacy where you share things with your spouse that you would never share with anyone else. This creates a special intimate bond that is special and unique to your marriage. Physical intimacy in a marriage is something that can’t be duplicated outside of the marriage and it’s very important to the health and happiness of the relationship.
If you want to work on your marriage then you have to find ways to be more intimate and create that bond, or keep that bond alive. Let your spouse be close to you in a way that no one else can, both emotionally and physically.
The Need to Real
We are who we are. We can’t change ourselves at the very core, but we sometimes pretend to be someone else in order to please other people. In a marriage, though, we should feel free to be ourselves, our real selves. We should feel comfortable acting the way we act and participating in things we like doing. It should be a safe place to be who we want to be without ridicule or judgement.
If you want to work on your marriage then you will want to let your spouse be themselves. Do not try to change them but rather accept who they are and love them for who they are, and expect the same in return. Let your marriage be the one place you can both relax and let your real selves out.
Remember, when you meet these 4 basic needs in your marriage you will find that your marriage will be strong, happy, and healthy. You won’t need to work as hard at your marriage as you do when they are not being met because your marriage will be thriving.
Bellaisa’s website, the Relationship Circle, has relationship advice for men and women.
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