I sadly want a reform in the construction of children
`Oblige me — you have been so very good in humouring my poor nerves — oblige me by lifting up a corner of the blind. Don’t let the sun in on me, Mr Hartright! Have you got the blind up? Yes? Then will you be so very kind as to look into the garden and make quite sure?’
I complied with this new request. The garden was carefully walled in, all round. Not a human creature, large or small, appeared in any part of the sacred seclusion. I reported that gratifying fact to Mr Fairlie.
`A thousand thanks. My fancy, I suppose. There are no children, thank Heaven, in the house; but the servants (persons born without nerves) will encourage the children from the village. Such brats — oh, dear me, such brats! Shall I confess it, Mr Hartright? — I sadly want a reform in the construction of children. Nature’s only idea seems to be to make them machines for the production of incessant noise. Surely our delightful Raffaello’s conception is infinitely preferable?’
He pointed to the picture of the Madonna, the upper part of which represented the conventional cherubs of Italian Art, celestially Provided with sitting accommodation for their chins, on balloons of buff-coloured cloud.
`Quite a model family!’ said Mr Fairlie, leering at the cherubs. `Such nice round faces, and such nice soft wings, and — nothing else. No dirty little legs to run about on, and no noisy little lungs to scream with. How immeasurably superior to the existing construction! I will close my eyes again, if you will allow me. And you really can manage the drawings? So glad. Is there anything else to settle? if there is, I think I have forgotten it. Shall we ring for Louis again?’
Being, by this time, quite as anxious, on my side, as Mr Fairlie evidently was on his, to bring the interview to a speedy conclusion, I thought I would try to render the summoning of the servant unnecessary, by offering the requisite suggestion on my own responsibility.
`The only point, Mr Fairlie, that remains to be discussed,’ I said, `refers, I think, to the instruction in sketching which I am engaged to communicate to the two young ladies.’
`Ah! just so,’ said Mr Fairlie. `I wish I felt strong enough to go into that part of the arrangement — but I don’t. The ladies who profit by your kind services, Mr Hartright, must settle, and decide, and so on, for themselves. My niece is fond of your charming art. She knows just enough about it to be conscious of her own sad defects. Please take pains with her. Yes. Is there anything else? No. We quite understand each other — don’t we? I have no right to detain you any longer from your delightful pursuit — have I? So pleasant to have settled everything — such a sensible relief to have done business. Do you mind ringing for Louis to carry the portfolio to your own room?’
`I will carry it there myself, Mr Fairlie, if you will allow me.’
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