Legal Humor & Learning
1- When a court case begins, various people are chosen to serve as members of a jury. First, a set of persons is selected in the case’s local region thereby making a first group of potential jurors. For the sake of the integrity of the legal process, the choice of an individual juror can be contested through a legal vetting system. Any member of the group of selected jurors can be interrogated as to his or her views regarding various ideas and beliefs relevant to the process. It might come as some surprise to a client however, in fact it might be better to think of getting a new lawyer in the event that yours comes up to each juror and in a steely glare starts counting off each one with the heady words ‘duck duck goosey!’
2- People truly hate lawyers; the never-ending comments of how unjust and unscrupulous they can be are axiomatic. There are, I am sure, some who deserve the reputation that they have so feverishly developed. Never one to be left behind, an aggressive attorney will do everything he can to argue a case. Of course, on the other side of the courtroom are people who are fuming at his sometimes excessive stretching of truth. It may come as no surprise that when it was heard that a group of attorneys on vacation was caught at the bottom of the ocean, the coast guard dispatcher was heard to say: “well that’s a good start!”
3- Your legal counsel has a brain filled with sections and clauses in arcane parts of the law. His caseload is brimming with difficult cases and he or she is constantly meeting clientele to review cases and much more. The variety of issues dealt with along with the abrasive personages encountered can sometimes stress a lawyer to the breaking point. He or she will also deal with the ordinary problems of debt, divorce and continuing legal instruction. Since this creates even more stress, an attorney needs to do something to let go of all the pains so acquired. But clients are searching for a sharp hard working counsel. However, at times life doesn’t like to permit both a life of leisure and an effective representation based upon deep hours of research. It can lead to your attorney cutting some corners. If in the midst of cross-examining a witness you find him playing a computer game, get a new one.
4- An attorney’s wardrobe can include a variety of dark colors including blues, browns or the ubiquitous ash colored suit. Sometimes a few pinstripes are thrown in to provide a dash of the ‘mysterious.’ As we said before it seems that an attorney is surrounded by haters of all types; his clothing is no different. A heroic lawyer ran to help a friendly neighbor who had the unfortunate fate of being involved in a pharmaceutical bust; how unfortunate.
When he approached the unfortunate soul, the police K-9 unit attacked the attorney. Immediately the sergeant in charge of the bust radioed for EMTs to come to the scene and save him from his wounds. When asked the nature of his wounds the cops’, aware that the attorney had previously helped obtain the release of the poor soul replied that he’s really not all that bad. He’s wearing a black bulldog overcoat and a brown pinscher double-layered bottom’s up pair of pants with a red streak here and there. OUCH.
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